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Joke of the Day

"[parole hearing] OFFICER: are u reformed? ME: I O: go on M: I th O: tell us M: I'm O: yes M: can I finish my sentence O: ok parole denied"

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms? One's a Goodyear, and the other's a great year. x/post from r/funny"

"Guess What? Chicken Butt."

"Why do so few people become botanists? Because of the stigma."

"Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke's still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, ""Use the forks, Luke."""

"What do you call having anal sex with a dick piercing? NSFW Prince Albert in a can"

"What's the difference between /r/jokes and your mom? Your mom is funny."

"My daydream solution to organizing my house is always arson."

"I hope Death is my father... because he'll never get me."

"Gotta elect a billionaire President in 2012, 'cause rich white guys just aren't getting their voices heard in DC."