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Joke of the Day

"I call my Asian friend Spongebob Because he's yellow and can't drive"

"*brings knife to gunfight* *knife used to cut pizza* *pizza served & differences resolved* *last slice up for grabs & gunfight ensues*"

"hello 911 ""whats your emergency"" there's someone in my home ""are you safe?"" it's a girl ""do you like her"" *starts twirling hair* I dont know"

"WTF!!!!!!!!!!! A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi."

"I have a voluntary version of Tourette's."

"What do you call a God unfit for the times at hand? O Cristor Redundant"

"Yo mamma so bald... you can see what is on her mind."

"All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh... But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme."

"Leather jackets are great for sneaking up on people. They're made of hide."

"This earthquake was the first time that I've ever said, ""it was 4.7, but felt bigger."""