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Joke of the Day

"*brings knife to gunfight* *knife used to cut pizza* *pizza served & differences resolved* *last slice up for grabs & gunfight ensues*"

"My girlfriend told me pissing during sex prevents pregnancy... She was right! She isn't pregnant, just pissed and wet!"

"Why the population in India is exploding these days? Because everyone over there is doing IT!"

"(Disney Dating Tips) 1.Kidnap Dad 2.Coerce Daughter 3.Awkward music-filled dates 4.Angry mob danger 5.Stockholm Syndrome -Beauty & the Beast"

"2 guys walk into a bar... The third guy ducks."

"What happens when a rock gets high? He gets stoned.. Badum tsss"

"*walks into a brothel* ""yes I'd like some broth"""

"There's no such thing as the funny bone... But I heard the upper arm is quite humerus."

"I'm trying to explain Twitter to this cop. He still wants to know why I'm driving naked."

"Why do they call them thunder storms and not lightning storms? Thunder storms just *sound* better"