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Joke of the Day

"Having sex is like riding a bike. Specifically, like that scene in Pee-wee's Big Adventure where everyone in the world has a bike except you"

"I was told getting a tongue piercing would help me with oral sex... I still can't reach it..."

"When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences."

"Chuck Norris There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris. It was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives."

"Ah, spring is here. Time to open the windows and remind my neighbors that I know every word to the ""Grease"" soundtrack."

"The bad news is we need to downsize on people named Jeremy, so you're fired. WHAT WAS THE GOOD NEWS? India's tiger population is up 30%!"

"I lost 12 pounds in a week. Good thing I'm not a big investor."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? About halfway"

"Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana. "

"If we ate cats for lunch we could consolidate something like 85% of all Facebook photos."