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Joke of the Day
"I lost 12 pounds in a week. Good thing I'm not a big investor."
Next Joke
"Everyone knows that 1 person who never laughs...I'm drawn to them like a moth to a flame, just to make their lives a living hell"
"Why is it called a Wonder Bra? When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went."
"I went to handshake someone and he basically just gripped my thumb and I'm never going to be popular"
"Why don't Muslims fight each other often? Cause they don't want no beef Edit: I'm going to crawl back into my hole now"
"Dr: I need a urine and stool sample. Me: *hands him my underwear* Dr:...... Me: Its all there."
"Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence"
"My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed."
"Knock knock [OC] Who's there? Bloop Bloop who Gross! what did you eat?"
"my wife is alot like pandora radio she is always asking me if I am still listening"