128999

Joke of the Day

"Ah, spring is here. Time to open the windows and remind my neighbors that I know every word to the ""Grease"" soundtrack."

"How was there no jackass in a giant penis costume at the women's March? That would of been hilarious. You would never see feminists beat a dick so hard."

"When I masturbate at home... I'm at homecoming."

"So I bought a fragrant candle the other day, but when I lit it nothing happened... It just didn't make scents."

"Three steps to start a relationship. 1- buy a sheep 2- name it ""relation"" 3- now you have a relationsheep."

"My liberal friend decided to go to a Republican rally and got his ass kicked. He's all right now."

"If you hear someone sing Jingle Bells and you don't respond with Batman smells then I don't wanna be friends with you."

"The Ninja Turtles went to a weapons store. They all got what they wanted except for Raphael They didn't have his sai's."

" All in all, it's just a... nother post on my wall. "

"What's long and hard and has cum in it? Cumulative exams."