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Joke of the Day

"Bird of peace? The dove Bird of war? The hawk Bird of true love? ..wait for it... .... The swallow *walks offstage"

"My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message."

"I found a cheap prosthetic arm on Craigslist Secondhand"

"Do you know why you need two fingers for a rectal exam? For a second opinion..."

"What's the difference between an incomplete riddle?"

"Local News Reports a Kidnapping at a School It's okay though, she woke up."

"What did the memory say to the processor? If you apply a voltage to me, I'm going to flip a bit!"

"What is the number 1 pickup line at a gay bar? May I push your stool in?"

"What do you call a crate of ducks ? A box of quackers !"

"One day a wife complained ""This wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."" The husband grunted and replied ""The darn clock always was slow."""