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Joke of the Day

"What does a cyborg order at a diner? A Cyborger"

"I'm writing a book on procrastination I'm only on page 1 sadly"

"Who does Luke Skywalker ask to charge his lightsaber? Char-Jar Binks"

"What do people and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe."

"Me: Can I pet your dog? Stranger: sure M: one more time S: uh, ok M: again S: maybe you should get your own M: pet S: we have to go M: mine"

"Beyonce: I cannot wait to slum it with some earth mortals at - wait what is it called again? Jay-Z: Coachella. Beyonce: Coachella."

"What's pasty, white, and bounces up and down in a crib? My ass."

"One time an electrician came home drunk at four o'clock in the morning. ""Wire you insulate?"" his wife scolded. ""Watts it to you?"" he snapped. ""I'm ohm, ain't I?"""

"In successful relationships, no one wears the pants."

"Putting up Christmas decorations was a bad idea. I'm drunk and stuck on top of the house with an inflatable Easter Bunny."