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Joke of the Day

"I'm writing a book on procrastination I'm only on page 1 sadly"

"Did it hurt when you fell off a whore tree and banged every man on the way down?"

"Ever get home, look at your hair in a mirror, and wonder how many small children you terrified while you were out"

"MADOKA MAGICA SPOILERS Why did Tomoe Mami die? She got ahead of herself."

"What did Spock find in the toilet? The captains log!"

"This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone's head."

"Have you ever heard someone honking so aggressively & for so long that you're like ""this was never about the traffic, was it, buddy?"""

"I'm a straight white guy who gets sad and is terrified of intimacy. Give me my own show! I am so unique!!!!!!"

"What do you call a joke without a punchline??"

"In the meantime I plan on absolutely crushing it over on LinkedIn."