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Joke of the Day

"new way to pay A company in India is coming out with a competitive PayPal alternative called PayMyFriend."

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"Whenever I accidentally watch the Bravo channel, the last thing that comes to mind is the word, ""Bravo!"""
"I rented a prostitute for $60 an hour, I paid her 50 cents."
"well, i guess this was bound to happen. i left the pot and the kettle on the stove overnight and the pot committed a hate crime."
"My extra sensitive toothpaste cries when I don't brush my teeth"
"Yay know, I'm no pedophile, but this childporn charge is some bullshit... Since when was it illegal search for euthanasia?"
"4-year-old: What's that? Me: A vegetable you won't like. If you don't tell Mom, I'll take it from you. *eats her bacon*"
"Sometimes I leave a trail of pizza crumbs around the house so I can find my way back to the TV"
"Ha! Major typo on page 28 of the new iTunes agreement. Anyone else catch that?"
"Chinese Takeaway - 24 Petrol To pick it up - 2 Getting home and realizing the twats have forgotten one of your containers. Riceless"