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Joke of the Day

"Chinese Takeaway - 24 Petrol To pick it up - 2 Getting home and realizing the twats have forgotten one of your containers. Riceless"

"Indian Brothers & Sisters: You know all those awful things Columbus did to the Native Americans? Just remember...HE WAS LOOKING FOR US"

"Difference between your wife and the economy? 5 years later, the economy will still suck."

"Got a job cleaning up leaves. I was raking it in."

"What's the worst part about eating 69 oysters out of your grandma? Finding out she already posted this joke on Reddit."

"A man asks his blind daughter what her favorite color is... She responds ""My favorite color is orange. It is the new black after at all."""

"Cop: where ya headed? ""the gym"" Cop: im gonna save you a lot of embarrassment and arrest you ""thank you so much, officer"""

"I could never be on The Bachelor. I don't need millions watching me get dumped & cry on tv. It's bad enough my cat sees that shit everyday."

"Why did God have no sense of humor when putting the planets in order? because he didn't want to put Uranus at the end of the solar system"

"Adulthood is where you get excited over a new trash can. *blank stare*"