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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I have been dieting together for a week so it'd probably be safer for me to come home smelling like perfume than a Snickers bar."

"Do you know what the hardest part of rollerblading is? Telling your father you are gay."

"Did you hear about the witch who did a four year course in ugliness? She finished it in two."

"Help, I just sunk the wrong submarine and I need legal advice Whoops! Wrong sub."

"Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The 'musical chairs' was a bit slow, but 'pass the parcel' was damn quick!"

"So a deer walks into a gay bar... Two hours and several drinks later, he walks out and says to himself, ""Wow. I can't believe I blew fifty bucks back there..."""

"Prostitutes are really over achievers... I mean all they do is succeed."

"Girlfriend left a note on the fridge ""this isn't working, you take everything too literally"". She'll be so happy when she sees the new one."

"In America, Trump unseats black, male president. In Russia, president sits on Trump blackmail!"

"Jokes site,help! Time a go,i read about a site in which there are plenty of jokes in this subreddit..graphically,it was very minimal.Could someone help me?"