229024
Joke of the Day
"My wife says I never take out the trash. I disagree. We just had our anniversary dinner last week."
Next Joke
"AT&T; always treats me like I have no shirt and no shoes."
"No Twitter crush. I have a twitter boyfriend who I intend to marry and have twitter babies. Then twitter divorce and take all his followers."
"watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. you're welcome"
"My friend told me he wanted to join the Spanish Inquisition the other day. I managed to Torquemada it."
"Just saw a snake slither through my backyard, so if anyone wants a house in Houston, it's yours."
"*swims up to girl in pool* so do you.. actually this is quite deep jesus *just disappears*"
"What's the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6? Mercedes Benz..."
"Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie."
"Know what her cervix and a plate glass patio door have in common They both make her eyes light up when you run into them."