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Joke of the Day

"AT&T; always treats me like I have no shirt and no shoes."

"It's really too bad that Magic Johnson played in an era in which the hilarity of his nickname was so underappreciated."

"Wanna feel old? Make comparative judgments based on how long you've been alive versus how long younger people have been alive. Wild."

"Great to meet you too, person I'll never see again."

"No, I am not insulting you. I am just describing you."

"A Buddhist Monk visits a hot dog stand in New York and says ""make me one with everything""."

"What did Sushi A say to Sushi B WASSABI"

"adulthood is just eating a taco where the toppings keep falling out and then death"

"Guy asked me where I got my green eyes. Great! Now I have to explain what the Vikings did when they got to Sicily."

"Alarm clocks should come with sounds like ""doll feet running into the closet"" Because I AM NOT HITTING SNOOZE WHEN I HEAR THAT SHIT"