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Joke of the Day
"watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. you're welcome"
Next Joke
"What has 6 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The Boston marathon finish line."
"I would bring my dog a nice jerky treat from Colorado, but he only eats local, sustainable cat turds."
"Her: You're up to a pack a day nowyou have to cut back. Me: [petting the alpha male of the wolf pack I just adopted] I can quit anytime."
"Life is too complicated in the morning."
"How many white girls does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, it has to be an odd number, because they literally cannot even."
"What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no eye deer. (said with redneck twang)"
"A redhead gets a job He is now a baker, probably a gingerbread man."
"What do you call a prostitute with her hands up her own skirt? Self Employed"
"Just saw a billboard: $586.25 Complete cremation. 1) Is there partial cremation? 2) What's the 25cents for?"