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Joke of the Day

"""What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?"" ""Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak."""

"Remember busy signals? Crazy times."

"When I was a kid, I was told ""If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."" For the first seven years of my life everyone thought I was a deaf-mute."

"And the Oscar goes to... ...Jail!"

"Three Nuns Walked Into A Bar The fourth one ducked."

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with the light on."

"A guy walks into a bar He has a frog on his shoulder, the bartender says Hey where'd ya get that? The frog says it started out as a wart on my ass."

"""Count down to zero silently with your fingers and then do a fist pump."" - SWAT manual on breaking down doors"

"What's the worst part of having to break up with a Japanese girlfriend? you have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it"

"[at sheep farm] Me: So how do you get steel wool? Farmer: well, that we get from our metal sheep Me: huh? *sheep walks by with Slayer shirt"