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Joke of the Day

"Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote."

"What do you call your girlfriend after a tough workout? Sorbet"

"A pizza delivery guy knocks on the door Two men answer the door and invite him inside. They ask him if he wants to have a threesome. He replies, ""just the tip please""."

"Before we hang out, please be advised I will be spending the rest of the summer talking like Bane."

"9 out of 10 people said when polled, that they enjoy gang rape."

"How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them."

"Three statisticians are hunting when they see a rabbit. The first one shoots and misses him on the left. The second shoots and misses him on the right. The third one shouts, ""We've hit it!"""

"What do you call someone you want to be stepped on by? A crush crush"

"I just sighed so hard, I won't have to dust for 6 months."

"When I ask people who they think my son looks like... ...They tell me he looks like his real father."