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Joke of the Day

"How does a Chinese cat say hello? Mi Hao."

"They used to be called ""Jumpolines"" Till your mother had a go."

"I hate it when I'm having the most delicious meal in the world and someone walks into the kitchen and tells me to get out of their house."

"Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents."

"It turns out ""Flasher"" wasn't one of the reindeer and I'm being asked to leave this holiday party."

"*hands cashier $100 bill ""Ya have anything smaller?"" *crumbles up $100 bill and hands it to cashier"

"I've had a shitty week. I either want to curl up in the fetal position or the fecal position."

"What do you call two bananas? Slippers"

"""We should definitely let dolphins go into space instead of monkeys"" said one scientist obviously not a dolphin dressed up as a scientist"

"It's all fun and games until you accidently grab the hand sanitizer instead of the lube."