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Joke of the Day

"I took a Scottish girl to the countryside. ""Hello view!"" she said, looking out the window of our rented house. I said, ""I love you too..."""

"""Welcome to another meeting of Horse Club. Let's try to actually get something done today. All in favor?"" Crowd: ""NEIGH!"" ""Jesus Christ."""

"A lot of you are calling me ""mom"" lately. Is it cause I'm old? Or cause you respect me? I hope for your sake it's cause I'm old."

"What's the point of a high school reunion? I have Facebook. I already know you got Fat"

"that fuzzy feeling when he puts his arm around u for the first time and then his other arm and then his other arm then u realize HE A SPIDER"

"Looks like Southwest Airlines needs to install a GPS Tomtom in the planes so their pilots don't get lost."

"What was Bruce Lee's favorite hotel? HYATT!!!"

"My spirit animal is fried chicken"

"How to pass a very difficult exam? Change your name to time, time always passes no matter what"

"You know what I hate? 1: Typing 2: Hypocrisy 3: Lists"