173100

Joke of the Day

"I've had a shitty week. I either want to curl up in the fetal position or the fecal position."

"What's the same about Mexican and Black people? Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal. (Sorry if you're offended, I love all races.)"

"[NSFW] What's green, and smells like pork? Kermit the Frog's finger."

"I killed a black guy.... I thought I would get arrest for murder, but I got arrest for impersonating a cop."

"[11am] Me: oh look, it's sunny out. Me: I should go running. Me: or swimming! Me: these Doritos are delicious."

"Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures? Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country"

"Border Security Idea: Make the door to Mexico too small for sombreros."

"Donald Trump was born a year after Hitler died. I now believe in reincarnation."

"Policewoman: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Driver: Boobs."

"Q: What kind of wood doesn't float? A: Natalie Wood"