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Joke of the Day
"What does a dominatrix say when she's late? ""Sorry I tied you up"""
Next Joke
"Having a tan is attractive. Having skin sponsored by Doritos isn't."
"What does a Mexican say when a house falls on them. Get off me homes."
"Martin Shkreli."
"What did the 0 say to the 8? ""Hey, nice belt!"""
"Why didn't the hipster have HIV? He fucked Charlie Sheen before he was cool."
"I regret having to say this, but it's the cold, hard truth. Never put a PayDay bar in the refridgerator. Damn thing is impossible to eat now."
"A guy waved at me and ran over the other day... He said ""oh sorry I thought you were someone else!"" I said, ""I am"" -Demetri Martin"
"What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? ""Hold onto your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job."""
"Oh nothing, just standing next to my computer browsing the internet on my phone"