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Joke of the Day
"What does a Mexican say when a house falls on them. Get off me homes."
Next Joke
"Can someone just invent a mirror that takes pictures already!"
"How do you drown a hipster? Throw them in the mainstream"
"I do this really cute thing where I yawn right before my girlfriend kisses me so I almost swallow her face"
"I'm currently dating a woman that, like me, has Parkinson's and kleptomania. We're going to take things slow."
"Bible thumpers... Are all the Psalm."
"What did the guy Zebra say to the girl Zebra? Take ze bra off."
"Autocorrect: Can't live with it, can't live meow it."
"I only enter names and numbers into my contacts so I can see who I'm ignoring when they call."
"need a Justin Bieber joke about the fist fight he got into last night"