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Joke of the Day

"What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? ""Hold onto your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job."""

"I'd rather someone ask if they can have one of my internal organs than ask if they can borrow my cell phone."

"I have a weird fungal infection on my foot... I didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me."

"I asked my cellmate how long he's in for. He said, ""Until I ejaculate."""

"Waiter: I'm sorry I spilled a glass of water on you. Diner: That's all right. My suit is too large anyway."

"In the past hour I've dropped my phone and my computer. Let me hold your crying baby."

"How to fall down the stairs * Step 1: * Step 2: * Step 4: * Step 17: * Step 35: And you're done!"

"After years of cooking, I've found that the best way to prepare brussels sprouts is to throw them away and order pizza."

"A black man walks into a bar his cell door was still closed."

"My car ran out of gas in a trailer park and now I have the most expensive home in the neighborhood."