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Joke of the Day

"The clearer your conscience, the more likely you are to answer a call from an unknown number."

"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar."

"What does Hitler call something that makes him mad? Infuhrerating"

"If we are a country committed to free speech then why do we have phone bills?"

"Wife: ""Was that lightning?!"" Me: ""No, they're taking pictures for Google earth..."""

"[Fortune Teller] ""I see great wealth, also danger."" Oh. ""And blue meth. Walt Jr. is crippled."" Are you watching Breaki- ""Jesse is so hot."""

"I resolve that in 2010 I will kick my procrastination habit in 2011."

"The pen is mightier than the sword. Unless you have like three followers then go with the sword"

"The thing about ice skating ... No matter how good you are, the hardest part is always your nipples."

"Strippers are a lot like magnets. They work by poles."