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Joke of the Day

"The thing about ice skating ... No matter how good you are, the hardest part is always your nipples."

"There was the Florida State defensive tackle who thought Hertz Van Rentals was a famous Dutch painter."

"What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? ""Quack, quack."""

"A masochist and a sadist are having an argument. The masochist says, ""Whip me! Whip me! Beat me! Beat me!"" The sadist says, ""No."""

"The president of Iran visited Italy And all of the nude statues were covered during his visit. It was a precaution as they may have made his 9 year old wife uncomfortable."

"Just lost my mood ring... not sure how I feel about that."

"Weather man said all you need today is sunglasses and sunscreen but I think I'll put some clothes on too."

"Remember--the only thing standing between you and your dreams is your appearance, lack of talent, and general personality."

"if Trump played classical pianoa Would he grab it by Debussy?"

"Either the kids on my street were playing with sidewalk chalk, or this is a crime scene and a bunch of stars and cats just got murdered."