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Joke of the Day

"The thing about ice skating ... No matter how good you are, the hardest part is always your nipples."

"Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, ""I'll have some H2O."" The second one says, ""I'll have some H2O too."" The second one dies."

"(NSFW) My wife was doing the mannequin challenge way before it got popular. She only does it when we have sex though."

"Pet Review: Horses Cost: Thousands of dollars Pros: Bragging about owning a horse Cons: Can literally kick your face off, big teeth 1.5/10"

"Patient: Doc what should I do with all the gold and silver in my mouth? Dentist: Don't smile in a bad neighborhood."

"A friend of mine is having her breasts enlarged. She's paying for it with her endowment fund."

"my roofing company has gone bankrupt. I kept saying ""this one's on the house"" every time I finished a roof, how could i be so stupid"

"The best curve on a girl is her smile. Lol just kidding, look at dat ass."

"I'm sorry, I don't have the energy to walk a mile in your shoes. I'm just going to go ahead & judge you."

"Me: Did you know a cockroach can live for weeks with no head? Him: That's nothing. Husbands sometimes go for years."