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Joke of the Day
"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar."
Next Joke
"are u nervous? do u hav nerves? dont wory. just take a deep breath. BUT NOT TOO DEEP!!! dont want ur lungs to pop. dont want that to hapen"
"What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog? Deciding which to tell people first."
"In honour of St Patrick's day, can you guess my Irish name? Pat MiGroin. Yeah, my grandpa just told me that one...some visual images cannot be unseen."
"I forgot :( Whilst climbing in the roof space to get down the kids Christmas gifts, I found a present I'd forgotten last year. Such a shame - they would have loved that puppy."
"That awkward moment when you have to get over someone you never even dated."
"The movie Speed, except this bus driver apparently thinks we'll blow up if he goes over 15 mph."
"[graduation speech] all of our parents had sex during the same year and i think that's really great"
"Just because someone smiles a lot doesn't mean they're nice. Take alligators for example."
"If steroids are illegal for athletes, then Photoshop should be illegal for models"