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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls are extinct."

"JOB INTERVIEWER: so, what was your last job? DR. FRANKENSTEIN: bodybuilding"

"What do you get if you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"What do you call a marine with an IQ of 70? General"

"Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour ? Pupil: Because it can't sit down !"

"Finally figured out why clickbait is so effective"

"I know it's not safe but our taxi driver keeps falling asleep at every light and it's getting hilarious"

"I will not tolerate watching the neighbourhood kids bully my nephew. So I keep the curtains closed."

"Doctor: ""You have lost a lot of blood."" Me: ""That's not good."" Doctor: ""It's not. You are the worst manager this blood bank has ever seen."""

"When my wife is sleeping I open her handbag, take out my balls, pat them & whisper ""I know guys I miss you too"" then put them back quietly."