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Joke of the Day

"I know it's not safe but our taxi driver keeps falling asleep at every light and it's getting hilarious"

"What fetish does winners hate the most? The feet"

"What do you call a pothead that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless"

"We live in an age where mentioning you read a book seems a little bit like you're showing off."

"Hitler arrives at the Pearly Gates... ...and says to St Peter, ""Sorry about the whole Jew thing."" St Peter replies, ""You did your best."""

"Why did Simba's dad die? Because he didn't Muv-fasta"

"How to get fucked up in bakery? Get creampied."

"Russian family conversation ""Papa, can I have 10 rubl?"" ""20 rubl? Why you need 30 rubl!?"""

"Photographers are so violent. They'll frame you, shoot you, blow you up and then hang you."

"Teacher: Fred can you find me Australia on the map please ? Pupil: There it is Teacher: Now Louise who discovered Australia ? Pupil: Fred did !"