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Joke of the Day

"When I get overly proud of America, I simply remember that in 1999 we made Mambo No. 5 a number one hit."

"Do people lifting with their knees and backs know about using their hands?"

"Boys have truly evolved * Boy: sapnu puas * Girl: What does that mean? * Boy: Turn your phone 180 degrees ;)."

"Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?"

"Imagine being in space and floating past all the planets. You could probably go kart on Saturn's rings."

"If I could be any arithmetic operation, I'd be subtraction. I just want to make a difference."

"What's a difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs"

"Awww, look. My middle finger likes you!"

"What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU? Not being British."

"Don't fire till you see the whites of their eyes. OH MY GOD THEY'RE CHINESE!"