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Joke of the Day

"If you're feeling down, park in a handicap space and soon a bunch of strangers will tell you that there's nothing wrong with you!"

"Remember when dresses were slightly longer but still cute, and when I bent over my gender didn't show? I want those back."

"Bernie Sanders again topped in campaign contributions with most of donations being small contributors... Leave it to a fuckin' jew to rob poor plebs of all their money!"

"A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3... He says ""uno... dos..."" *poof*! and disappears without a tres."

"Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, ""Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?"" Then I wonder if it knows something I don't."

"Spiritually, ever since I ate my first curry, I'll always be part Indian."

"I hope the next Rambo movie is called 'Rambo No. 5' and its just Stallone dancing through the jungle shooting a little bit of this and that."

"What is the national bird of Afghanistan? The Boeing 757"

"Her: You know, alot of men are going to be miserable when I marry. Me: Well how many men do you plan to marry?"

"What kind of glass do they put up in restaurant windows to make people want to eat more? Hunger panes."