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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I shut down my computer, it asks, ""Are you sure you want to shut down your computer?"" Then I wonder if it knows something I don't."

"How many fingers does the dragonborn have? 8 fingers and 2 Thu""ums... Unless the dragonborn only has a Haafingar"

"Excuse me - can you tell me the way to the Staten Island Ferry? Thpeaking."

"There was two muffins. They were put in the oven One muffin says to the other muffin, ""wow its hot in here!"" The other muffin said ""WHOAH, A TALKING MUFFIN!"""

"Me: - Sweetie, why is the bottle of whiskey half empty? Wife: - Because you're a pessimist, honey!"

"If we are not if we are not meant to have midnight snacks why is there a light in the fridge ?"

"Connor O'Connor walked out of a bar... [because hes irish!](http://replygif.net/i/1083.gif) ...thats pretty much the joke."

"Seminar topic at the annual vampire conference ""How to Deal with Stakeholders"""

"What's a thesaurus's favorite cereal? Synonym Toast Crunch"

"What do you call the corner of 69th and main? Your moms place of employment"