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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between pink and purple? Grip strength."
Next Joke
"Vacuum the cat, its easier than vacuuming his hair from the whole house"
"The irony of my developing severely crippling stomach cramps minutes after reading a cheesy old love story isn't lost on me. *faints*"
"So I called my boss this morning. I said ""Hey boss, what's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"" He replied, ""I don't know. What?"" ""I won't be coming in this morning."""
"Producer: Would you call your leading lady ugly? Director: Let's just say she'd look better on radio than on TV."
"So apparently Garry glitter has gone down, ON LITTLE GIRLS HAHEHHEHEE (heat plz)"
"If I wear a wizard hat and robe to my cousin's wedding this weekend, I bet no one asks me if I'm next."
"ME: Do we have Bacon Bits? WIFE: Fridge. Why? ME: *filling pockets* No reason *dog park* PERSON: Sorry. He's normally behaved ME: No prob"
"How do you know your girlfriend is too young? She only puckers up for her pacifier."
"A waffle house is like a gas station bathroom that serves waffles."