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Joke of the Day

"Not much of a ""First Aid"" kit if it doesn't have peanut butter in it."

"How do you make sure you have the best space party for your kid? You planet early."

"The thing I most look forward to after Christmas is taking down the decorations and, for 4 minutes, it feeling like I live in a mansion."

"Civil War reenactments are a lot like meetings. You do the same thing over and over again while waiting for your turn to die."

"There's a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking."

"Hey Vegas, your slogan is bullsh!t"" Prince Harry"

"I've always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves."

"*wind starts wearimg sunglases adn 90s clothes* *wind starts recitimg will smith raps* wow this is som realy fresh air"

"A man walks into a bar. The impact gave him a concussion."

"Did you hear about the guy with five penises? His pants fit like a glove."