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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a bar and says ""OW!"""

"Holy shit. Just realized that my last girlfriend was born the same year I got my first credit card. And I'm not even hot like Larry King."

"How do supernatural entities cum? They have poltergasms"

"Today I found out I have dyslexia... I went to a toga party dressed as a goat."

"A libertarian prostitute looks at her pay stub.. ""I'm sick of all these fucking-taxes"""

"The only thing better than an orgasm is being interrupted by stupid bullshit while you're masturbating. I hate stopping at toll booths!"

"My friend said he doesn't like pun jokes so I told him ten of my favorite puns to see how many would make him laugh But no pun in ten did."

"My main move is to say ""long story short,"" but then hit you with long story medium."

"What does Santa say to the elves after they make the toys? Leave my presents"

"My class was reading a book. It was called Taming of the Shrew. Someone blurted out loud, ""I just thought of a Nazi version!"" ""Taming of the Jews!"" ***** ^^^^not ^^^^oc"