199519

Joke of the Day

"""How about a month of obligations, overspending, difficult travel and horrible weather?"" - The pitch for the month of December."

"There's only one downside of putting a woman on the $20 bill. That downside is that the $20 bill is now only worth $15.66"

"One man's trash is another man's girlfriend."

"the thing i hate about job applications Job applications are like, ""If you're working & Frank looks upset, what do you do? I turn around and do my job, fuck Frank"

"I only believe 12.5% of what the Bible says. Which makes me an eighth theist."

"The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi."

"everything happens for a reason and the reason is stupid"

"Cock... is a fowl word."

"The Subjunctive mood is pointless. If I were to create a language, I wouldn't include it."

"What's the main difference between a man and a woman? It's what comes to mind when they think of the word facial."