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Joke of the Day
"I want to tell the sun to stop being so self-centered But the world does revolve around him"
Next Joke
"What did Russians use for light before candles? Light bulbs"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see why /r/jokes is screwing in lightbulbs"
"My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be."
"Well, I don't know how my tattoo is gonna look when I'm 60, Carol, but I know you'll be dead by then so"
"I'm not racist! I have like 3 friends! And five of them are black."
"hey joggers instead of those dumb little shorts you should wear batman costumes so I can feel like my neighborhood is protected"
"13: Dad, do you believe in miracles? Me: Do you remember spray painting my car? 13: yeah M: Are you breathing? 13: yeah M: Well, there ya go"
"Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I've never paid good money to have a lentil on my chest"
"Have you seen that movie Constipated? It hasn't come out yet."