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Joke of the Day

"If Bernie gets elected we should give him an honorary military rank. Colonel sounds right to me."

"Shout out to people who don't know the opposite of in"

"What do you call 1 black guy being stalked by 200 white guys? PGA Tour."

"If you like pee jokes... ...urine luck."

"What does L in Samuel L. Jackson stand for? Motherfucker. (from somewhere in YouTube comments)"

"Saw my neighbor walking down the street with a case of beer, I said ""That for me?"". He said ""I got this for my wife"", I said ""Great trade!"""

"Why do Jewish men get circumsized? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off"

"What's the difference between a woman and a toilet? The toilet doesn't insist on cuddling after you drop your load in it."

"Why did Mario always bring Toad to parties? Toad was a fungi."

"I've finally reached the age where I can't function without my glasses...especially if they're empty."