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Joke of the Day

"Saw my neighbor walking down the street with a case of beer, I said ""That for me?"". He said ""I got this for my wife"", I said ""Great trade!"""

Next Joke
 
"What do you call it when you kill someone with your bad breath from a long distance away? No scope"
"Dr: I'm giving u a proton-pump inhibitor Me: LIKE A GHOSTBUSTER? D: No for acid reflu *sees tears welling in my eyes* yes for busting ghosts"
"My wife just woke me up to tell me... Wait. June is over? You must be... JULYing."
"What do Stephan Harper and pennies have in common? They're both useless in Canada."
"If laughing is good for you because you use 15 muscles, think how healthy you'll be if you're breaking a chair on someone's head every day."
"I feel like if Joe Biden and Kanye West were involved in a Freaky Friday scenario no one would notice for months."
"999 The devil's in the handstands."
"Why don't paperclips move around a lot? They like being stationery."
"What do you say after stubbing your toe? I thought the title was the start of a joke. You OWW me one joke!"