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Joke of the Day
"Divorce is tough on some kids. Mine were just happy to be single again."
Next Joke
"Stop thinking that aliens are green! I mean seriously, I saw a few brown skinned Mexicans..."
"How many Apple Geniuses does it take to change a lightbulb? None, we just swap out your whole house"
"People think I'm weird because I swallowed an abacus They're forgetting it's what's on the inside that counts."
"Professor: ""Did you just show up drunk to my exam?"" No way ""Hungover then?"" Nope ""There's a lime wedge on your face"""
"My wife has developed a fetish with salad items... Earlier today she spent an hour trying to force a lettuce into my ass. And that was just the tip of the iceburg"
"Bed wetters let it go straight to voicemail when nature calls."
"A man walked into a bar and took a girl home. What drink did he have at home? A bloody Mary."
"What do you call a mollusc that's just short of consciousness? A Conch."
"You hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering whether or not there was a Dog."