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Joke of the Day
"A man walked into a bar and took a girl home. What drink did he have at home? A bloody Mary."
Next Joke
"My friend recently told me he was allergic to blood... I told him he was full of it."
"What did the dwarf pimp say to the two prostitutes at the beginning of the night? Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go"
"Q: What's the definition of perfect pitch? A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides."
"Poland... Poland - a country between Russia to the east and Germany to the west. If they piss Russia off, they turn the gas off. If they piss Germany off they turn the gas on."
"I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink I call it, ""Make America Smashed Again"" It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice."
"Nothing freaks me out like trying to remember which brownies I packed in my son's lunch box"
"So a man goes to a restaurant and orders some food.. [OC] Man: ""Ugghhh...What the hell is this? There is sand in my paella!!!"" Waiter: ""Si?"""
"The problem with feminists... The problem with feminists is that they don't stop talking and I just want to fuck them."
"i don't want to masturbate... ...but im doing this ""1000 days in a row"" thing"