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Joke of the Day

"How did the Idiot break his arm while raking leaves? He fell out of the tree."

"Why is it called 'Your Bowels' and not 'Your Instinks'"

"What's the difference between light and hard? Well, you can sleep with a light on..."

"INTERVIEWER: what's your greatest strength? ME: I'm good at untying knots INTERVIEWER: oh thank god can u get these running shoes off of me?"

"Remember to horrify your friends and family by testing out your tweets on Facebook today"

"I stole a toilet seat from a police station once. They never caught me, they had nothing to go on."

"David Hasselhoff just changed his name to ""David Hoff"" If anything, it's less of a hassel."

"Fun game: Order food to be delivered to your mobile home and then lead the delivery driver on a high-speed chase through town."

"What was Roe v. Wade really about? The fastest way to get across a river."

"If you love something, let it go. From the creators of ""If you're tired, go for a run,"" and ""If you're on fire, eat bees"""