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Joke of the Day

"I can cut a piece of wood just by looking at it. It's true, I saw it with my own eyes!"

"""Owen, you must hide this baby, at all costs, from Anakin Skywalker."" ""Okay. Should we continue to call him Luke Skywalker?"" ""Seems fine."""

"The Laser Weapon by Ray Gunn"

"I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool today. The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in."

"A lawyer I know is a big fan of U2 He's pro Bono."

"I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extreme handicapped. I'm calling it ""Fruits and Vegetables"""

"I once met a girl with twelve boobs. Sounds fake, dozen tit?"

"What do you call a guy who always phones people? Colin."

"19th Ammendment"

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? ask them to pronounce unionized"