148117

Joke of the Day

"I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extreme handicapped. I'm calling it ""Fruits and Vegetables"""

"A pessimist and an optimist are watching one of the 2016 debates... The pessimist says ""It can't get any worse"" and the optimist says ""Oh yes it can!"""

"Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies"

"Why does beyonce sing about the ""box to the left"" Because women have no rights"

"{At funeral} *holding widows hand* I'm sorry for your loss. He had so much updog ""What's updog?"" *pats her hand* Not much what's up with you"

"Why don't black people dream? The last one who had a dream got shot."

"Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! Well don't have a shower because you might be dry clean only."

" she's just a small time girl workin at Jurassic Woooorld opened a raptor cage now they're everywhere "

"When I see someone's name trending on twitter, I used to be afraid they died. Now I'm afraid they're a Republican presidential candidate."

"Am I...are we... is this a date? *elevator opens & he leaves*"