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Joke of the Day

"Moe: My wife converted me to religion. Joe: Really? Moe: Yes. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

"To make small talk interesting, stare inquisitively at one spot on the person's face until they self-consciously touch it."

"How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg."

"The best reply to ""I love you"" is ""Well that's a terrible idea."""

"""Dad, I don't want to go visit Grandma"" ""Shut up, and keep digging"""

"You don't really know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them."

"What kind of underwear does John Grisham use? Pelican Briefs I'll go find a bridge"

"Me: Do you want to meet your sisters at the bus stop? 5: *doesn't look up* I already know them."

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey"

"My wife said I don't do enough work around the house. Its like she thinks this FB account just runs itself.........smh"