76934

Joke of the Day

"Me: Do you want to meet your sisters at the bus stop? 5: *doesn't look up* I already know them."

"Who does Christopher Reeve wish he could be? Christopher Walken"

"I'm white, but not ""tell people that life is beautiful"" white."

"One girl did a presentation in hittites and she went through while presentation... straight faced calling it ""high-titties"" everyone was losing it and she couldn't figure out why."

"I decided to live at the gym, it was free! Because of squatter's rights."

"A website where low life fat virgins go. www.reddit.com"

"*stationary for 7 hours* Me: ""Actually, I'm not sure this is one of those driverless cars."""

"Twitter has lost 90% of my tweets. Great! Now I've got nothing to show for the last two years. Nothing."

"Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide."

"I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you."