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Joke of the Day

"To make small talk interesting, stare inquisitively at one spot on the person's face until they self-consciously touch it."

"85% of baseball's appeal is good weather and alcohol."

"It's my life. I'll live it, I'll love it, and I won't care what you think of it."

"There are two types of people in the world: Those who like pastries... And those who donut."

"Q: How many editors does it take to change a light bulb? A: If we change the light bulb we'll have to change everything."

"Reporter: Is there anything you can do to make people hate you more? Rodger Goodell: Coldplay is doing the Super Bowl halftime show."

"I like my women how I like my coffee, Without a penis."

"I once spoke to an extractor fan. He said to me, ""I used to like farming vehicles, but now I'm not so fond of them."""

"Office Theft Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're gonna pay. You have my Word"

"What does a silver medalist and a pedophile have in common? They both come in just a little behind."