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Joke of the Day

"""Dad, I don't want to go visit Grandma"" ""Shut up, and keep digging"""

"I heard One Direction released a new album recently... ...it's titled ""Ray"""

"How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year? Not too well considering they can't finish a race."

"what if the Blair Witch was just lonely"

"What is Bill Clintons favorite instrument to play? His Whore-Monica"

"Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country? He was Snowden."

"I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass."

"Why was the clumsy vegetable farmer a good dj? Because he dropped the beet."

"What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen, right? But what if she is Asian. Then it's Irene."

"My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am, can you fucking believe that, 2:30am. Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes."