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Joke of the Day

"Q: How can you identify a computer that has been in use at the Clinton White House? A: There is White-out on the screen."

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"Do you think Michael J Fox....? Do you think Michael J Fox ever gets an answer out of an 8-Ball?"
"My girlfriend told me to go out and bring back something that made her look sexy. I came home drunk."
"[playing limbo at Gary's house] GARY: how low can you go? *i sleep with Gary's wife* GARY: wow, that is pretty low"
"While it paints me to say this... I'm really not much of an artist."
"What did the gentleman say to the doctor when he went to get his pus drained? Please! I in cyst!"
"By the year 2020, the word ""Silly"" will be considered Harmful. It will be replaced by ""Seriously Challenged."""
"I met a girl in the pub last night and we ended up back at my place. I didn't have a f*cking clue what I was getting myself into. So I politely asked her to shave it."
"Sure my mom birthed & raised me, but I've had to explain how to check her email 95,000 times, so let's just call it even."
"I ejaculated so hard That conspiracy theorists are saying there was a second shooter."