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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be silly, feminists can't change anything!"

"Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your ""shake"" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake"

"I tried to eat soup with a fork. It was a strain."

"My wife called me a pedophile... I said ""that's a pretty big word for an 8 year old"""

"A man comes home to find his wife in bed with his best friend, he immediately picks up his gun and shoots the wife He gives the dog a second chance though"

"I may be 26, but I have the body of a 16 year old. Her parents are very upset. As are the police."

"What's the difference in a dog, some meat, and a blow job? You can beat your dog, you can beat your meat, but you can't beat a blow job."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? I dont know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance."

"party idea: ""DUI or IUD?"" u can only invite people who have one or both and u CAN'T divulge which"

"I became a proud dad today My son is actually four but he was a boring little cunt for the first three years."