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Joke of the Day

"Load your plate up high, then take it to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender, and take your ""shake"" back to the table. Announce that it's the new Thanksgiving Weight Loss Shake"

"If global warming was causing guns to melt, we'd all be driving electric cars within two weeks."

"My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me."

"Helium is a limited resource and we could run out of it in our lifetime... Balloon prices are going to go sky high."

"After a dream I had last night, credits rolled. I had no idea so many people worked on those things."

"A speech should be like a woman's skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep it interesting!"

"I graduated with a 2:2 in Sports Journalism It would have been a 2:1 but they equalised at the last minute."

"How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb? They don't need to, they glow in the dark..."

"Did you know that the 16th presidency had the best records kept? I think they were called the Lincoln Logs."

"Accidentally pushed the premium gas button and now I'm worried my car is high."